Freemasonry meetings

3 weeks. I've washed dishes twice voluntarily and once it was just sandwiches and paper plates. This is freemasonry at the phoenix lodge here in SF. I've been drawn to secret societies, the occult, conspiracy theory and extradimensional travel since I was a pot sticker loving street fighter 2 playing chunky punk living on Menalto Ave. in EPA or seven for those counting in man years. So after finally making it through the Illuminatus book almost 2 years ago I've been on a grail quest. The research I had done suggested freemasonry was the foundation for so many other orders I admired..the O.T.O, the Golden Dawn...but freemasonry appeared in the roots for everything from the American revolution, the French revolution, our constitution, declaration of independence, everyone from Crowley to Oscar Wilde to Mark Twain to George Washington to Jack Johnson to Ben Franklin had been one and I wanted to know what secrets they kept too. I had dabbled in darkness with Lavey's COS and been freaked out by the spermo-gnostic aspects of the OTO(not disgusted, just would rather supply my own than risk it) so freemasonry's appeal lay chiefly in its perceived nobility. A higher calling above politics and religion with the mission to unite all men in brotherhood regardless of appearance or ancestry, where I could practice the rasta prophet Marley's words "...until the color of a man's skin, is of no more importance than the color of his eyes..." and where the concept of InI would be understood as the golden rule. No titles, degrees and shiny badges for me, thank you. Nothing is true, everything is permitted. Because the grail I seek contains no truth nor do I recognize any ultimate truths. The quest is the journey, chaos the magic, the meaning is writ, life just the script I write myself in. Invisible identities contained without I and within you. Shattering boundaries that connect us. The schizophrenia is a symptom of our society not the patients it manifests in...I survive 9 to 5 become the dog walker smoke talker absorb the information drug and do it again where is my transcendence and iluminification. Conversations that teeter on the forbidden fence of politics and religion...so many Christians. They don't comment on my pentagram ring and I don't say anything about the big one on the temple wall...